welcome to dencon. on your birthday you get an extra hour in the pit.
I don’t know how much Denny’s pays their social media team but however much it is, it’s not enough
When my mom’s out in public, she sends me pictures of lesbians she sees.
Jesus I envy that relationship.
this is like the time when my mum took me bra shopping and the girl measuring me up was a lesbian and my mum said to me “i’ll go take a walk around the shop so you can talk to this nice young girl” and gave me a look as if to say “chat her up”.
My mum tries to push me towards cute possibly gay girls and then disappears. She did it in Primark once and I found her hiding behind a pile of knickers, watching me.
i love all of your moms
When I was 17 I was convinced I was in love with the check out girl at the grocery store 5 minutes away from our house, so my dad went to get milk and somehow found an appropriate point in the conversation while buying a half gallon of milk to give her my number. Three days later she called me and asked if I wanted to come over “to watch a movie” and long story short my dad got me laid thanks dad.
That last story is worth reblogging
I warned you
The content of this post is meaningless because all I see is how low the battery is. This person needs to charge their phone.
I was in bed my charger was on the wall but I wanted to be facing the other way can you GET OFF MY FUCKING BACK
Bunny falls asleep
bun didn’t actually fall asleep!! bunnies flop over like this when they feel safe and comfortable in their environment. they rarely stretch out and lay down because they’re prey animals, so when ur bun does completely lays on their side or their back, it means they feel 10000% safe around you
i wonder how many people im in the “id be down if you asked” zone with
Best $1.85 I have ever spent.
i threw a party once. threw it really far. like 200 feet